Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
