I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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