She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize