I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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