Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
