At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
how drunk are you?
Several
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
