CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
