she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
