i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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