so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Randomize