If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
