Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
