I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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