Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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