I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I have tasted many bathrooms
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
