My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
