it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my being single is dangerous.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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