Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
home. puking in laundry basket.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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