I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
