Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He called his prostate his "boner button".
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
