I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
