You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
