So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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