Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
