Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
