Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
