Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
4 words: hood of his car
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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