actually, I'm a sock model
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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