So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
