okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
