I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
