i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
