please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
