I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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