I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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