Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize