At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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