I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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