We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
