Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
