My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Your cock deserves a montage
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize