Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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