We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
this boner is exhausting
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
