Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
