I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize