Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
