I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
