You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
