This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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