Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
