we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I have fence marks all over my body
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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