She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
