Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
