Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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