U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize