maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
