Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
