Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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