On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
if only i could text you this smell
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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