just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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