I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize