She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize