I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
