Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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